Do You Think You Might Have Experienced Trauma, But You’re Not Sure?
Do you often question if your emotional reactions are valid? Do you feel isolated or disconnected from yourself or those around you? Are you tired of feeling on edge or hypervigilant?
Is there an event in your past that has caused you to suffer in silence and fear? Do you feel like your experience was bad, but not traumatic, and you find yourself in denial or disbelief? Maybe you downplay what happened because others have experienced worse. As much as you refuse to acknowledge trauma in your life, your past hurt may be causing unwanted feelings and reactions. You may ask: Is this trauma, or am I just being dramatic?
Oftentimes, the hardest part of dealing with trauma is the guilt, shame and self-blame that is a by-product of it. For instance, if you experienced abuse as a child, you may tell yourself “I should’ve known better at the time,” or “I acted too kind to my abuser.” Realistically, you couldn’t have known any better as a child, but hindsight makes everything look crystal-clear. That’s because you are applying what you know now to a situation in which you felt powerless.
Perhaps you find yourself bargaining with your trauma, asking, “What’s wrong with me? Am I defective? Why can’t I deal with a bad relationship or a medical condition instead of the effects of child abuse or neglect?” It’s not that you want a bad relationship or an illness; it’s that you wish you had something measurable or fixable to manage, something other than what you’re dealing with. It’s as if your past is so unbearable that any other torment would be a relief.
If this is how you feel, we encourage you to take heart. Trauma counseling with the Relationship Enrichment Center in Matthews, North Carolina, can empower you to stay grounded in your body, serene in your mind, and at peace with your past, present and future.
Many Of Us Experience Trauma Without Even Knowing It
Our bodies remember experiences that our minds can’t always make sense of. Consider an invasive surgery that saves someone’s life. While the outcome of the surgery certainly outweighs the costs, the benefits overshadow the physical trauma that the body endured.
What’s more, there is a tendency to not see something as traumatic if no one is to blame—such as a bad accident or a leg fracture. And even when there is a perpetrator, the experience may not be recognized as traumatic if the perpetrator was someone you trusted. In this way, many traumatic experiences fly under the radar, as they are too deeply embedded in our bodies and nervous systems for us to fully understand. Sometimes, we may even deliberately keep traumatic experiences under the radar if we feel that they would upset our family system.
When we define trauma as any experience that is less than nurturing, we can more fully understand its range. For instance, let’s say a seven-year-old at a dance recital messes up their performance. Their peers laugh, their instructor gets frustrated, and when they get home, they overhear their parents saying, “Why did we even pay for her dance lessons?”
On the surface, this storyline may seem innocent enough, but consider the effect it can have on a seven-year-old’s psyche. With so much pain and indignation, the seven-year-old may make some decisions that last a lifetime. The child may lose interest in dance and withdraw from team sports. If they encounter more rejection later in life, these feelings of low self-esteem could compound each other. In the end, the long-lasting repercussions of repeated rejection and embarrassment can have a traumatizing effect—even into adulthood.
Because of how confusing and multi-layered trauma can be, making sense of it is half the struggle. On your own, it isn’t always possible to tie up all the loose ends of your story and sort through all the conflicting emotions. By seeking out a kind, trusted, and experienced professional, you can learn to make sense of what happened in a way that is safe, gentle, non-traumatizing, and deeply empowering.
Trauma Counseling Can Help You Take Back Your Power
Because trauma is so overwhelming, it has a way of draining all sense of power and autonomy out of you. For instance, if you’ve ended a traumatic relationship that was full of lying, betrayal, and gaslighting, the hurt you endured can diminish your ability to feel safe in your own skin.
The therapists at Relationship Enrichment Center in Charlotte, North Carolina, want to help you take back the power you lost. This is done by slowing things down, creating an atmosphere of safety, and giving you the reins on telling your story. You will be able to share your experience without fear of being judged, minimized (downplaying what you went through), or intellectualized (trying to tell you what your experience was). We will help you find your voice again and learn to color yourself back into the picture of your life.
In the beginning, we want to help you figure out where your trauma lies and understand what problems it’s impacting. Oftentimes, this means looking at any repeating themes or patterns that have affected how you see the world today. At the same time, it’s important to remember that we are going to work at your own speed. We want you to set the pace of your trauma therapy. Having control over the healing process allows you to regain a sense of safety, comfort, and, most importantly, power.
As we continue to meet together, you will learn skills for staying grounded and avoiding unhelpful reactions when trauma reasserts itself. When you feel retraumatized, it’s common to dissociate—to feel disconnected from your body and enter a state of emotional “shutdown.” Our aim is to help you come up with a safety plan for staying in your body and avoiding dissociation when you are stressed. We will help you come up with alternative coping skills to use instead.
One of our core approaches is called Family Systems Theory (FST). The idea of FST is that when one part of the family (or “system”) has been harmed, the entire family is impacted. All too often, when one family member hurts another, the whole family unit ends up keeping the trauma secret. If the victim doesn’t want anyone to know what happened, the family may refuse to seek external help. Our work together will assist in prioritizing the needs of you and all your family members rather than the secret. We encourage everyone to have a voice.
No matter how hesitant you feel, coming to trauma therapy is worth the investment. By getting the support of a dedicated, compassionate professional, you can avoid resorting to the same unhelpful reactions and learn new skills for staying grounded and serene.
You may have some questions about trauma counseling…
I’ve tried everything. Therapy couldn’t possibly work.
You may have tried everything within your power and learned all the calming skills there are to learn. The problem is that, no matter how much you do and how intelligent you are, you are still limited by the constraints of your own perspective. In order to truly widen your perspective, the most beneficial thing you can do is get support from someone who can witness your story and help you take back your power.
Do I have to confront my perpetrator?
Absolutely not. Since you dictate the terms and pace of therapy, we will never do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. We can facilitate all the empowerment work symbolically, without the presence of another person. Experiential work, role play, empty chair work, and other creative means can help you heal from your trauma, minimize your symptoms, and take back your power. We will work at your own pace and with your permission.
I’m worried that trauma counseling is too expensive.
The consequences of not getting help far outweigh the small cost of paying for trauma counseling. Therapy is an investment in your well-being, yourself, and your loved ones.
Let Us Help You Find Your Voice Again And Color Yourself Back Into Your Life
No matter what trauma took from you, it is possible to get it back. To reclaim the power and serenity you lost and begin your journey of healing today, start the online intake process or call our intake coordinator at 704-804-0810.
We offer both online and in-person trauma and PTSD treatment right now.
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