Intentional Connection With Your Inner Child
October is Inner Child month at Relationship Enrichment Center and to celebrate this, I wanted to share an intentional inner child connection activity with you. I have written two previous blog posts about the inner child: Inner Child and Fun Ways to Connect With Your Inner Child. You can read these two posts to learn more about your inner child!
To begin this activity, you will need to find a picture of yourself when you were younger. When I think about my inner child, she is 5 or 6 years old. If you are not sure how old your inner child is, close your eyes and take a deep and slow grounding breath. Tune into your intuition and trust the age that you first think of. You will also need a pen/pencil and a piece of paper.
You will want to create a safe space for yourself. Here are some ideas about how to create a safe and sacred space:
Light a candle
Cover yourself in a comfortable blanket
Diffuse essential oils and/or put essential oils on your body
Hold a grounding stone
Turn on a salt lamp or other soothing lighting
Wear comfortable clothing
Enjoy your favorite candy, gum, or mints
Enjoy your favorite non-alcoholic drink (coffee, tea, flavored water, etc)
When connecting with your inner child, it’s important to feel grounded and connected to your body. In order to “get into your body”, you can listen to a meditation of your choice for 5-10 minutes to help you become very present in your space and with yourself.
You are going to write a letter to your inner child. Many of us have emotional wounding or unmet needs related to not being seen and/or heard in the ways that we needed as a child. Writing a letter to your inner child is a reparenting technique and is a way for your adult self to validate, see, and hear your inner child in the way that he/she needs.
Start the letter by writing: Dear Little (Your Name),
As you begin writing this letter, think about the last few weeks and how you have generally felt. Maybe you have felt overwhelmed, sad, frantic, stressed, anxious, etc. Or, maybe you have felt excited, joyful, happy, content, peaceful, etc. Acknowledge these feelings to your inner child. Here are a few examples:
“The last few weeks have been chaotic and overwhelming. I have been exhausted and not taking care of me or you in the ways that make us feel good.”
“The last few weeks have been exciting and fun! I have been able to experience things that I never thought I would experience.”
From here, you can allow your body and intuition to take over as you continue to write to your inner child. Here are a few more guidelines to help you get started with your connection letter:
Focus on taking any guilt, shame, or responsibility off of your inner child–explaining to him/her the truth about the origin of those feelings and the true cause of those feelings.
Explain to your inner child specific ways you are going to continue to keep him/her safe and protected.
Write affirmations to your inner child to remind him/her of the positive core beliefs you hold about yourself (You are worthy of ________, You are enough, You are important, You are loved unconditionally, You are safe, You are protected, Your voice matters, You are beautiful)
Thank your inner child for continuing to show up and communicate with you when he/she is not feeling safe or when he/she is needing something from you.
Share how much you love your inner child and set an intention for future connection with him/her.
If you begin to feel stuck at any point and are not sure what to write, I recommend placing one or both hands over your heart and taking a few slow deep breaths. This will reconnect you back to your body and can help you tune back into what your inner child needs to hear from you.
I recommend processing this letter with your therapist as well as any feelings that come up for you as you write this letter. When we process an activity like this, we are able to feel deeper into our feelings, and make meaning of anything that comes up that might be unexpected. If you are needing support and/or are curious about inner child work, please reach out to schedule an appointment with one of our talented therapists. To learn more about trauma counseling at Relationship Enrichment Center, click here.
With gratitude,
Chelsie Ciminelli