October 31st, 1986, I was 24 and at a party with a girlfriend whose name I don't recall. I felt alone in a crowd, and truly by the Grace of God, I heard the line in AA's 3rd Tradition, "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking." It was this sentence that helped me believe that I was welcome.
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Anytime we feel lost, hurt, or inspired to make even the most specific parts of our lives better in some way, we can find a website, article or paper about some self-help topic that speaks to us. This is often the first step taken before deciding to begin therapy with a helping professional. But rarely does someone talk about being the person who is married to or the child/parent/sibling of the person seeking help.
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When people used to ask me “What does being in recovery mean?” I would answer “it means you’re sober.” But after much more life experience and years in the field, I learned that recovery is not the same as stopping a substance or behavior that’s causing some interference in your life. That’s abstinence. Abstinence is amazing, hard, and sometimes 100% necessary for recovery. But one can be in recovery from many things that don’t allow for 100% abstinence, and recovery means so much more than abstinence.
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April is Alcohol Awareness Month and I think it could be helpful to address some myths when it comes to substance use treatment and addiction. The most common myth I have seen is that someone’s use needs to be “really bad” in order to stop or get support. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
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12 step recovery is filled with wonderful slogans intended to help one think before their compulsion takes over and they use, medicate and/or act out.
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