Living Intentionally, Not Intensely

Nature is a wonderful metaphor for life and the heat seems to be intensifying every day. My air conditioner has broken three times in three weeks!  When things heat up and intensify around me, it’s my cue for me to come back down to my baseline. I don’t consider my baseline to be “lazy”, “mediocre”, or “just getting by.” In fact, I consider it my go to, my clean slate, my feel good place to land. My baseline means I return to the basics of what I know works and I stop overdoing. Old behavior and training tells me that when things are intense around me, I need to “armor up” and match this intensity, or beat it. 

This is what I used to do when things felt intense: 

If it’s hot outside? Time to crank up the workouts! Time to clean the house and throw things out! Time to plan get togethers and outdoor things! Time to prove we are having fun! 

If relationships feel intense and hard? Time to win. Time to be right. Time to defend. Time to prove I am enough and doing enough. 

If work feels overwhelming? Time to move into go mode. Time to try harder. Prove more. Take on more. Blame others when it’s going wrong. 

Today I’m trying to do things with more intention rather than more intensely. Living with intention is how I return to my baseline.  It’s not giving up and doing nothing, acquiescing to life, or throwing in the white flag.

It’s my middle ground approach that might look something like this: 

It’s hot outside and things feel intense? Time to slow down, enjoy the still air and feel the breeze when it hits. Time to retreat inside and enjoy reading in the AC, not almost pass out on a hike to prove I got outside this weekend. Time to commit to one thing each weekend, not five. Time to enjoy cold foods and cold drinks in the shade. 

If relationships feel intense and hard? Time to slow things down. Time to listen and reflect, not defend and prove. Time to understand, not bulldoze. 

If work feels overwhelming? Time to prioritize. Pay attention to my commitments. Ask for help. Have boundaries. Focus on what’s within my control. 

When the fire gets going, I no longer have to meet it with a jet flame back. The adage of fighting fire with fire leaves me feeling burnt and others injured. Today I can see the flames, know they are a messenger, and trust in the wisdom of “intentionally, not intense.” If you resonated with this message we would love to support you with creating more intention and letting go of some intensity.  

Love,

Jessica