Your Mental Health Starts With You
Taking care of yourself can be easy to say and difficult walk out. It’s so easy to concern ourselves with our partner’s wellbeing, our children, our friends, parents etc., the list goes on. It’s easy to put yourself on the back burner when there are so many others to tend to. Taking proper care of self paradoxically, is the best way to help others around you. Coloring yourself in with proper self-care and having a sense of self-worth allows you to give to others, without sacrificing your own needs.
When we are not taking care of ourselves and are overly focused on others, it can lead to feelings of overwhelm, resentment, and justification of medicating behaviors. By focusing on your own needs, you can show up in your relationships more right sized, and ask for what you need rather than overextending and burning out.
A daily routine of asking some self-care questions can help determine what and how you can walk out your self care.
How do I feel in the moment?
What makes me happy?
What am I grateful for?
What do I love about myself?
What do I appreciate most about my partner, parent, child?
When I am disappointed, what’s my part in that?
Am I making time for meaningful connection?
Do I have enough quiet time/me time?
Am I honoring the boundaries I have set? Have I set any boundaries?
These self-care questions can help determine what kind of a day you’re going to have and/or how to get it back on track. These imply self-responsibility, and what might be helpful if you need some course correction. Asking these questions can be especially important during the holidays. Making yourself a priority is easy to forget, so here’s an acronym: TOASTY. This is a reminder I came up with to clarify important concepts of self-care. Recognizing we are getting a little TOASTY on our sense of self can help avoid an emotional burn out:
T: be TRUTHFUL.
O: it’s OK to say “No” and or set boundaries.
A: AVOID unhealthy relationships and or activities such as medicating.
S: SOME self-care is better than no self-care…progress not perfection.
T: Make it TIME-bound, such as 10 minutes of meditating.
Y: YOU matter! You are enough, you have enough and you do enough!
I hope these tips help you to prioritize yourself. I know that when I am connected to myself, I am a better husband, father, son and friend to those in my life. Remember you are not alone in your journey, and you are so deserving. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season!
Grace and kindness,
Nathan