People chose not to drink alcohol for many reasons and being encouraging of that decision is important to me. I try to focus on encouragement, understanding, and connection when someone has decided not to drink. Below are some things I have found helpful during Holiday celebrations, especially for someone who is new in their sobriety journey or is “sober curious”

I do have drink alternatives available besides water. My favorite is frozen cranberries, cranberry juice, sparkling water, lime, and rosemary.

I do respect someone’s “no” the first time.

I do respond with respect or encouragement: “Awesome. Can I get you something else? I have _______________”, “That’s great, I respect that”, “I’m proud of you”

I do respect if they can’t attend this year, and I do offer to get together outside of a party setting.

I do leave room for sharing, but only if the person wants to. “I respect that. If you want to share more about your decision, I’d love to hear about it.”

I do ask what would be supportive. “Thanks for letting me know. Can you think of anything that would make tonight easier or more fun for you?”

I don’t pry. While leaving the door open for someone to share about their decision can be supportive, I remember I’m not owed an explanation.

I don’t assume they will be the designated driver.

I don’t ask them to buy, bring, or make alcoholic drinks

I don’t assume they can “have just one” and I don’t encourage it

I don’t make their decision about me.

I don’t ask them to stay later than they feel comfortable. I respect their decision to leave, at any time

I also seek out support when I need it. Here are a few of my favorite, free support options:

The Blanchard Institute’s Family Education & Support Group

Thursdays at 7:00 PM (theblanchardinstitute.com)

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon

For family and friends of those struggling with substance abuse

(charlottealanon.org & nar-anon.org)

ACOA

Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families

(adultchildren.org)

In The Rooms

Online meetings for various types of support

(intherooms.com)

CoDA

Codependents Anonymous

(coda.org)

If you’d like support for yourself or a loved one, many of our clinicians at REC have their own personal journey with sobriety or supporting loved ones with it, have worked in treatment, and attend these meetings. We would be honored to walk alongside you while you’re navigating the Holidays.

Trusting the process,

Jessica

How I Support Someone Who Doesn’t Drink During The Holidays

I also seek out support when I need it. Here are a few of my favorite, free support options: