Am I Enough?

Hey mommas, raise your hand if you’ve ever wondered “Am I enough?”. 

If your hand is raised, know that you are not alone! I assure you; my hand is also up there- sky high. As a new or expectant parent, it is common for our fear, self-doubt, worry, and anxiety to feel like it is taking over at times. Even as a counselor, I have looked at my son and wondered “Am I enough for you?”, “Am I giving you what you need to succeed?”, “Am I a good parent?”. I’ve looked at my husband and wondered “Now that I am a mom, am I still a good partner to you?”.

Of course, self-doubt is not parenthood specific. We tend to find our doubts creeping into many facets of our life. Heck, even writing this blog (my first, ever!), I can feel the self-doubt knocking at my heart. 

In our fast-paced world, where we are pulled in so many directions and exposed to a plethora of picture-perfect photos/posts, it is easy to feel that we must be the very best to everyone, at all times. The best mother, the best partner, the best employee, the best friend… The constant giving of ourselves, comparisons, and well-intentioned (though usually uninvited) advice of others can make us feel exhausted, overstimulated, anxious, and lacking. 

Deep breath, momma, deep breath. …Know this, YOU ARE ENOUGH! (Feel free to read that as many times as you need to ☺). 

These feelings of worry, anxiety, self-doubt- most times they are rooted in fear. And what a force fear can be in our daily lives. Fear of loss; fear of not living up to expectations (yours or others); fear of failing as a mom, a partner, a professional; fear of not being enough. I know these fears well. I have struggled with perfectionism and been a bit of an over-achiever for much of my life- all because I feared not meeting a standard that I had set for myself or a standard that I believed others had set for me (we’ll chat more about this in another blog ☺). 

As a new mom, I know both the many hopes we have for ourselves, our children, and our families. I also know the many worries.

I think of hope and worry as two ends of a spectrum: with our inner narratives dancing and moving between the dichotomy each end represents.

The challenge becomes when we find ourselves stuck in the ‘worry’ end of that spectrum. That end is where we find ourselves asking those questions I offered earlier: “Am I enough for you?”, “Am I giving you what you need to succeed?”, “Am I a good parent?”, “Now that I am a mom, am I still a good partner to you?”. 

While I can tell you that “Yes! You are enough!”, you must be the one to say that to yourself. To believe it, to own it, and to allow your self-trust (rather than your self-doubt) to inform your daily life.  

Wherever you are at in your story, if you can relate to what is written here… please, reach out. Allow yourself the gift of accepting support. You don’t need to walk your road alone. Call our office to begin your journey toward rediscovering your strength, worth, and resilience.

--Therese

And don’t forget: You’re doing great, momma <3