At the start of the new year, there is inevitably a lot of conversation about New Year’s resolutions--the goals that individuals set for themselves at the beginning of the year to have a fresh start at achieving something they want for themselves. Often, these goals include something about becoming healthier, saving money, getting better sleep, and/or reducing stress. When I learned how to create goals, I was taught to follow the acronym SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time Specific. The specificity of these types of goals creates some anxiety for me, and I tend to self-sabotage before I even get started.

For me, SMART goals are often challenging because my perfectionism actually keeps me from starting the goal and keeps me stuck in procrastination.

I know this sounds backwards, and once I learned about this phenomenon it made so much sense. My perfectionism is more satisfied with not starting tasks/goals at all because if I don’t complete a goal/task perfectly my perfectionism ramps up and my negative self-talk kicks in heavily. If I don’t start something at all, I can make excuses for why I haven’t done what I set out to do. However, when I make excuses I am not living in my recovery.

I have found that I achieve more and make more progress when I start off by setting intentions for what I want to achieve, rather than SMART goals. My natural thought patterns are rigid and very “all or nothing”, so if I don’t follow the specifications of the goal perfectly, I want to give up on it all together and wait until the next year to try again. Intentions foster flexibility and grace in my thought patterns, and this has been such a shift in perspective for me and helps me think about my goals as being “working documents” rather than a “final copy”. Once I have some traction and clarity about what is going to work best for me, I then feel more ready to create SMART goals without being afraid of them.

Wherever you fall on the continuum is perfect for you, and if you need support in defining what you want your intentions and/or goals to be in the year 2021, reach out to start your journey with the Relationship Enrichment Center.

Chelsie Ciminelli, LCSW-A

Goals vs. Intentions: Is there room for both?

For me, SMART goals are often challenging because my perfectionism actually keeps me from starting the goal and keeps me stuck in procrastination.