Giving Birth During A Global Pandemic

My husband and I became pregnant in August 2019 with our second baby, during a time when our financial situation was not in the best place. The first few months of my pregnancy was spent stressing over how we were going to pay the hospital bills because we do not have typical health insurance. I hate to admit this, but I had a difficult time accepting my pregnancy and being happy about the wonderful gift we were given from God because it didn’t seem like we were ready to have another baby.  I felt guilty about bringing another child into this world, and feeling like we weren’t going to be able to provide for him. We looked into different options...hospital...home birth...birthing center?  Each one had its pros and cons, but there wasn’t a perfect option that met our personal and financial needs. Once we had all of that figured out and a plan in place, I thought we were in the clear from outside stressors and boy was I wrong.

I decided that I did not want to let this experience leave me feeling helpless and powerless.  I decided to focus on what I could control and let go of the things I could not control, and this shifted my mindset more than I could have imagined.

COVID hit in March 2020 when I was about 7 weeks away from my due date. The hospital restrictions became more and more scary and anxiety inducing. Was I going to have to give birth without my husband and the father of our child by my side? It was bad enough that my friends and family weren’t going to be able to visit me and the baby in the hospital. Every week at my doctor’s appointment, I obsessively asked the doctor’s about whether or not there were any new restrictions at the hospital. I was preparing myself for the worst and hoping for the best; however, when preparing for the worst, I was experiencing an increase in anxiety, stress, and sadness as I thought about what it would be like laboring without the support of my husband and thinking about meeting my son for the first time and not being able to share that moment with my husband. I decided that I did not want to let this experience leave me feeling helpless and powerless.  I decided to focus on what I could control and let go of the things I could not control, and this shifted my mindset more than I could have imagined. I realized I had much more power in the experience and outcome of my delivery than I initially thought. I was empowered to advocate for myself and for my baby in the last few weeks of my pregnancy and during my labor and delivery because I knew exactly what was in my control within the confines of COVID restrictions. I was able to reframe some of the initial “negative” things or things that were out of my control. For example, my family was not able to visit us in the hospital and because of this, I was able to bond with my baby and soak up all of his snuggles without having to worry about other people wanting to hold him. I loved every second of that time with him, and I would not trade that for the world. I was able to overcome my codependent, people pleasing instinctual response and get in touch with and listen to my intuition, which allowed me to enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy as well as my labor and delivery experience.

Chelsie Ciminelli, LCSW-A