Slogans
“Let go or be dragged” One of the members from group last night shared with us this AA slogan, “Let go or be dragged”. It’s really speaking to me this morning as I am continuing to take back the illusion of control. I surrender, and turn this over and then a few minutes later I find myself obsessing about a detail or a way that I might be able to manipulate a situation. One moment I’m aware that there is actually a little bit of a breeze as I walk my route, and then the next minute I am back to thinking about a work project, a circumstance that I have no control over, or another favorite, I’ll start to think about what I believe others think about me. It’s at this moment that I realize that I’m being dragged.
Another one of my favorite slogans is: “yeah but makes for a big butt”. This is something that comes to mind when I talk about my relationship with food and body image. When I hang on, or try to control I often find myself looking for answers in the pantry. I’m uncomfortable and intolerant of my self care tools and find myself eating mindlessly and usually things that are not on my food plan. When I’m in this place I’m grateful that I have such amazing support and accountability in my life. And yet, sometimes it feels as if this phone weighs 100 pounds.
The support and accountability is only there when I ask for it and own what is happening.
“Under every skirt is a slip” This slogan will definitely date me, I heard it in the 80s at an AA meeting for newcomers. I had to think about it before it made sense. When I first started attending 12 step meetings I was overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of others extending a hand to help. I also had difficulty navigating my intentions and the intentions of others. It was strongly recommended in meetings, to not engage in any romantic relationships in early recovery as it tends to confuse and possibly derail ones focus.
“Grab your ass, this will pass” This is a favorite reminder to me that the feelings and reactions that I’m having toward any given situation will pass. My discomfort or outrage about some injustice does not resolve if I lead with high intensity. Learning how to re-regulate my nervous system and connect to others has been a lifelong journey. It has also been so much more effective than reacting to my feelings and having or believing that my feelings justify my unchecked, insane behavior.
Learning how to breathe, notice, listen and be curious about the feeling has brought about a wealth of self compassion and compassion for others. It also helps me determine what I need and how to ask for that in a respectful way.
“There but for the Grace of God go I” This particular slogan informs my service work and the mission behind my professional work. Giving back the way love, sobriety and recovery has been given so generously to me gives me purpose as well as compassion. It makes life worth living.
And finally, the slogan “Keep coming back, it works if you work it”. I used to find this slogan super irritating. It’s a little bit like not liking the taste of medicine. Sometimes the medicine tastes bad, and it’s healing. Think of all the people who have endured chemotherapy and beat cancer and are alive because of it. Maybe 12 step recovery could be your chemotherapy, and maybe these slogans could be a little bit of encouragement. I sure hope so!
If you’d like to learn more about trauma counseling at Relationship Enrichment Center, click here. Healing your trauma can help you take your power back!
Trusting the process,
Sheila Maitland