Cognitive Distortions

What are cognitive distortions?

They are irrational thoughts or beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us that are reinforced over time. 

Common Cognitive Distortions:

All or Nothing Thinking: looking at things in absolutes, black and white categories

Overgeneralization: viewing a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat

Mental Filter: dwelling on the negatives and ignoring the positives

Disqualifying the Positive: insisting that your accomplishments or positive qualities “don’t count”

Jumping to conclusions/Mind Reading: assuming that people are reacting negatively to you when there’s no definite evidence for this

Jumping to conclusions/Fortune Telling: arbitrarily predicting things will turn out badly 

Magnification/Minimization: blowing things way out of proportion or shrinking their importance inappropriately

Emotional Reasoning: you reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I really must be one” or “I don’t feel like doing this, so I’ll put it off”

Should Statements: criticizing yourself or other people with “shoulds” or “shouldn’ts”. “Musts”, “oughts”, “have tos” are similar offenders.

Labeling and Mislabeling: identifying with your shortcomings. Instead of saying, “I made a mistake, you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk”, or “a fool”, or “a loser”

Personalization: taking everything personally or assigning blame to yourself without logical reason to believe you are to blame.

My thoughts have been impacted by every one of these common distortions at one point or another. The most persistent distortions I tend to have in my thoughts are all or nothing thinking, disqualifying the positive, emotional reasoning, and should statements. 

My all or nothing creeps up when I am trying to manage all of my responsibilities (taking care of myself, taking care of the children, cleaning the house, working, grocery shopping/cooking, exercising, etc) and I feel like I don’t have enough time to complete a task in full or complete it “perfectly”.

When I’m in all or nothing, it feels like my only options are to do the task according to the very rigid plan I have in my head or not do the task at all.

I have to consciously remind myself that it’s okay to get the vacuum out and only do one floor of the house. Or, it’s okay to do a 15-20 minute workout at home, rather than drive to the gym and do a full one-hour workout that burns a certain number of calories. 

I often have difficulty accepting compliments or positive praise, and this is where I see myself discounting the positives quite a bit. Rather than accept another’s words as truth, I will find any other possible reason to explain how I have been able to accomplish something that takes away from everything I did. The distortion makes me believe that I am not worthy of receiving compliments or praise, so if this is happening, then it must be for some other reason outside of myself. 

When I am having emotional reasoning distortions, they are difficult for me to recognize at times. An example of this might be “I feel guilty because I worked more hours the past few weeks and I wasn’t home much with my kids at night, therefore I must be an absent parent”. It sounds completely ridiculous as I write that statement out, and it’s so hard to sort through the distortion when the thought comes in the moment. 

Should statements create high expectations in my life; “I should be able to get up earlier to exercise in the morning”, “I should have enough time on the weekends to clean the house”, “I should be able to finish my work before I leave the office”.

When I am living in should statements, I am judging myself and I feel like a failure so often because I am not able to meet the expectations I set for myself. 

If you are struggling with some of these same cognitive distortions, there is good news! You don’t have to live with these thoughts forever. Reach out for support; we can help you learn about where the distortions come from and how to replace them with healthier thoughts that decrease shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, and self-judgment.

--Chelsie Ciminelli, LMSW-A